An RCMP officer stops at a ranch in Alberta, and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs.'
The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'
The RCMP officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge. The officer proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answered given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'
The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the RCMP officer running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull.
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer.
The officer is clearly terrified and yells for help!
The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!!
Feb 1, 2009
Joke: Chocolate Man
A divorcee in her early forties was sitting at a bar one night when she noticed a young, attractive black man just a few stools away. She'd never experienced for herself if
the stories about black men were true, so she took the opportunity to buy the young stud a drink.
One drink led to another, and those led to the couple going back to the divorcee's apartment. Once there, the woman stripped naked, climbed up in her bed, struck a sexy, come-hither look, and whispered,
"OK, you gorgeous piece of chocolate man. Show me what young black men do best."
So he beat her up and stole her stereo.
the stories about black men were true, so she took the opportunity to buy the young stud a drink.
One drink led to another, and those led to the couple going back to the divorcee's apartment. Once there, the woman stripped naked, climbed up in her bed, struck a sexy, come-hither look, and whispered,
"OK, you gorgeous piece of chocolate man. Show me what young black men do best."
So he beat her up and stole her stereo.
Joke: The Half Wit
A man owned a small business in Minnesota . The Minnesota State Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the owner, "there's my mechanic who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The counter man has been here for 18 months, and I pay him $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of scotch every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to - the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," he replied.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the owner, "there's my mechanic who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The counter man has been here for 18 months, and I pay him $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of scotch every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to - the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," he replied.
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